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Why People Manage Their Anger Differently

By: Jo Johnson - Updated: 21 May 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Why People Manage Their Anger Differently

People handle their anger in different ways, in fact some people don’t appear to get angry very often whilst others become riled very easily. We are all unique and individual with our own perceptions, reactions, past experiences and tolerance levels which can all contribute to how we experience anger and react to certain stimuli.

Perception

Perception is a highly individual trait and differs wildly between people. The term can be explained as people’s understanding of the situation and their awareness of the environment and other contributory factors that relate to their senses.Some perceive anger as a negative emotion which when displayed, is detrimental to the situation and bad for health. These people will try and avoid becoming angry and diffuse tense situation remaining outwardly fairly passive and genteel.Other people may find anger to be productive and allow them to make people do as they ask. This may be influenced by media images that show these kinds of actions.Others may have already judged how they will react to a given situation and act accordingly proving their own theory to be correct.People’s perception of a situation may also influence how they will react. If someone senses someone becoming angry or that a situation is about to spiral out of control, they may automatically become defensive and develop hostility or they may flee in order to not get involved in someone else’s anger.

Previous Experience

Past experiences is very important in how people manage their anger. If a child has been brought up in a hostile and angry environment they will learn this behaviour and continue these traits to the next generation. For example, if a child regularly sees one parent being abusive to the other they will perceive this as normal and may continue this practice with their own partners later in life.It is believed by experts to be an extremely important factor in childhood which plays a small role in the abolishment of corporal punishment in schools. They believe that children should not be subjected to such anger and violence as this may teach the child that this form of behaviour is acceptable and that there are other more acceptable reactions and actions concerning discipline.

Low Tolerance

For most people their tolerance levels are normally quite high as they do not lose their temper very easily but there are some issues that may arise that can affect this. There are also people who may have a generally low natural level of tolerance and may need to find ways of allowing their tolerance to grow.Sometimes it may be a lack of sleep, the environment they are in, the temperature, the presence of alcohol or drugs or even pain level that has caused someone’s tolerance level to drop and if this is the case the issue may be more easily resolved that trying to manage the anger although often people address both at the same time.Time constraints for parents can be a big issue especially when the household contains a few small children and time is tight particularly in the mornings and it may be easy for the parents to have a low tolerance level and react badly when stressed. These parents must remember that these tough times will not last forever, it is a common situation for parents, and that your reaction to the child can affect them for many years to come in a negative way and it is important to try and remain fully in control in a rational and mature manner.

There are several reasons why people manage and express their anger differently. Often this is due to their past and how they were brought up as a child, or it may be an issue in their present circumstances that has altered their ability to manage or experience their anger in any given situation. Whatever the reason, we are all unique and will have our own perceptions and experiences but we should try and prevent these from having negative effect on either ourselves or those around us.

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Rach - Your Question:
I am sharing my story to alert people to the possibility that a rapid change in having everyday anger change to outbursts of screaming and cursing could have an unknown neurological cause. I am 72 year old retired social worker and recently began to have horrible outbursts of screaming and cursing with minimal provocation and occasional discrete episodes of confusion with everyday tasks. I saw a neurologist for the confusion and had an MRI and neuropsychological evaluation for it. I didn't even mention the rage outbursts because I saw no connection. And I felt too ashamed about my horrible behavior to mention it unless specifically asked.The MRI showed new brain damage from a stroke 7 years previously from which I had made a good recovery and was doing well. I didn't know that even years after recovery from a stroke new brain damage can occur. The neuropsychological testing showed this new brain damage had seriously impaired my ability for impulse control. What a relief to know I wasn't a failure because I didn't try hard enough to control my anger in my anger management therapy.In fact I went to three different therapists about my anger problem and no one suggested a medical evaluation. If I hadn't also had the discrete episodes of confusion I never would have sought medical evaluation for my recent rage attracts.I hope at some point you might address when medical evaluation for extreme anger should be considered. I will be starting both medical and psychological treatment soon for my rage problem. Feel free to share my story keeping my identifying information confidential and If you have time would welcome hearing from you.

Our Response:
Many thanks for sharing your story and I am glad medical evaluation has answered your health questions which must have been very confusing, scary and worrying for you at the time and after such a length of time. I'm sure this will interest and help our readers and I hope you receive some response to your posting. Best wishes.
AngerManagementExpert - 22-May-17 @ 10:22 AM
I am sharing my story to alert people to the possibility that a rapid change in having everyday anger change to outbursts of screaming and cursing could have an unknown neurological cause. I am 72 year old retired social worker and recently began to have horrible outbursts of screaming and cursing with minimal provocation and occasional discrete episodes of confusion with everyday tasks. I saw a neurologist for the confusion and had an MRI and neuropsychological evaluation for it. I didn't even mention the rage outbursts because I saw no connection. And I felt too ashamed about my horrible behavior to mention it unless specifically asked.The MRI showed new brain damage from a stroke 7 years previously from which I had made a good recovery and was doing well. I didn't know that even years after recovery from a stroke new brain damage can occur. The neuropsychological testing showed this new brain damage had seriously impaired my ability for impulse control. What a relief to know I wasn't a failure because I didn't try hard enough to control my anger in my anger management therapy.In fact I went to three different therapists about my anger problem and no one suggested a medical evaluation. If I hadn't also had the discrete episodes of confusion I never would have sought medical evaluation for my recent rage attracts.I hope at some point you might address when medical evaluation for extreme anger should be considered. I will be starting both medical and psychological treatment soon for my rage problem. Feel free to share my story keeping my identifying information confidential and If you have time would welcome hearing from you.
Rach - 21-May-17 @ 5:38 AM
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