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How to Stop Feeling Like a Victim

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 12 Feb 2015 | comments*Discuss
Anger Victim Victimised Control

By the time anger reaches boiling point it is generally too late to throw a cooling factor over it. Tempers may flare and a verbal, and sometimes physical, demonstration of our frustration then takes place.

It is during this time that we often act like a victim who is unable to take control of the situation. Understanding that there are steps you can take to stop yourself feeling victimised, however, will enable you to take charge and manage your anger more effectively.

How to Stop Thinking Like a Victim

It is easy to allow ourselves to be influenced by the behaviour of other people. Therefore we sometimes find ourselves playing the victim because someone else is controlling a situation through force or a pattern of behaviour that is unacceptable to us. In this kind of situation it is easy to bottle up frustration, but every time we do that we begin to feel victimised.

We may begin to feel that our opinion, view, skills or ability is not valued or important in some way, and we may also begin to doubt we have the capability to successfully interact with other people.

A victim will generally have low self-esteem and little confidence in their ability to control how they think, feel and act. Acknowledging that you are accepting the role of victim, in any situation, is the starting point from which you can take charge. Once you are able to identify the pattern of your behaviour you will be able to begin making positive changes to manage your anger effectively.

How to Stop Acting Like a Victim

In order to boost your confidence and self-esteem you will need to create a positive self-impression. If you start empowering yourself by taking full responsibility for your actions, and anger, you will not be able to feel or act like a victim. Instead, you will project a self-assured and confident persona that other people will respond to in a different manner.

Taking charge of your feelings will allow you to clearly express your opinion and thoughts to others, which in turn will stop you bottling up. You may still encounter situations where the behaviour of other people, or other factors, trigger your anger, but being aware that you can change other people’s perception of you by simply acting with self-assured self-belief will create a more acceptable outcome.

Quick Tips to Control Your Anger

To calm yourself down practice taking long, deep breaths. Imagining yourself in a relaxing location will also encourage your mind to slow down. Adding a repetitive phrase like ‘calm down, everything is fine’ will also help. You can practice this simple, effective technique anywhere and anytime.

It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to think, act and feel the way you do, so forgiving the other person for their actions will help you deal with your anger in a positive way.

Release tension by using humour. Instead of feeling like a victim imagine yourself in a comedy sketch situation where silliness is the desired outcome. Being able to see the funny side of any situation will help you release anger, without you feeling victimised or picked on in any way.

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