Home > Channel Personal Anger > How to Stop Feeling Like a Victim

How to Stop Feeling Like a Victim

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 12 Feb 2015 | comments*Discuss
Anger Victim Victimised Control

By the time anger reaches boiling point it is generally too late to throw a cooling factor over it. Tempers may flare and a verbal, and sometimes physical, demonstration of our frustration then takes place.

It is during this time that we often act like a victim who is unable to take control of the situation. Understanding that there are steps you can take to stop yourself feeling victimised, however, will enable you to take charge and manage your anger more effectively.

How to Stop Thinking Like a Victim

It is easy to allow ourselves to be influenced by the behaviour of other people. Therefore we sometimes find ourselves playing the victim because someone else is controlling a situation through force or a pattern of behaviour that is unacceptable to us. In this kind of situation it is easy to bottle up frustration, but every time we do that we begin to feel victimised.

We may begin to feel that our opinion, view, skills or ability is not valued or important in some way, and we may also begin to doubt we have the capability to successfully interact with other people.

A victim will generally have low self-esteem and little confidence in their ability to control how they think, feel and act. Acknowledging that you are accepting the role of victim, in any situation, is the starting point from which you can take charge. Once you are able to identify the pattern of your behaviour you will be able to begin making positive changes to manage your anger effectively.

How to Stop Acting Like a Victim

In order to boost your confidence and self-esteem you will need to create a positive self-impression. If you start empowering yourself by taking full responsibility for your actions, and anger, you will not be able to feel or act like a victim. Instead, you will project a self-assured and confident persona that other people will respond to in a different manner.

Taking charge of your feelings will allow you to clearly express your opinion and thoughts to others, which in turn will stop you bottling up. You may still encounter situations where the behaviour of other people, or other factors, trigger your anger, but being aware that you can change other people’s perception of you by simply acting with self-assured self-belief will create a more acceptable outcome.

Quick Tips to Control Your Anger

To calm yourself down practice taking long, deep breaths. Imagining yourself in a relaxing location will also encourage your mind to slow down. Adding a repetitive phrase like ‘calm down, everything is fine’ will also help. You can practice this simple, effective technique anywhere and anytime.

It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to think, act and feel the way you do, so forgiving the other person for their actions will help you deal with your anger in a positive way.

Release tension by using humour. Instead of feeling like a victim imagine yourself in a comedy sketch situation where silliness is the desired outcome. Being able to see the funny side of any situation will help you release anger, without you feeling victimised or picked on in any way.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Mommy-of-4
    Re: Why do Kids get Angry?
    My eight-year-old son has been bullied at school all year, and i have done everything i can think of to help him. but it seems the more i…
    23 February 2018
  • AngerManagementExpert
    Re: Anger Management Classes for Kids
    Liz - Your Question:I have a 9 year old son he has lost his dad Xmas year before and nan Xmas just gone he is very angry and…
    12 February 2018
  • Liz
    Re: Anger Management Classes for Kids
    I have a 9 year old son he has lost his dad Xmas year before and nan Xmas just gone he is very angry and frustrated and i…
    11 February 2018
  • JoJo
    Re: An Anger Management Worksheet
    @Jenn - you could also look at this from a different angle, as a form of control and bullying. I'd have second thoughts about…
    8 February 2018
  • AngerManagementExpert
    Re: Anger Management Classes for Kids
    Rooney - Your Question:He's had child hood trauma. He's very angry. Hits his siblings. He can be good one day and a few days…
    8 February 2018
  • Jenn
    Re: An Anger Management Worksheet
    I need advice for my boyfriend and I. We are very serious (talking about marriage), but he has MAJOR trust issues from his past…
    7 February 2018
  • Rooney
    Re: Anger Management Classes for Kids
    He's had child hood trauma. He's very angry . Hits his siblings . He can be good one day and a few days horrendous . He says…
    7 February 2018
  • Sue
    Re: Anger Management Classes for Kids
    Hi. I have a 12years daughter who is very intelligent and creative and academically brave. But the only issue is that she…
    28 January 2018
  • Reyanna
    Re: Would Karate Help a Child With Anger Problems?
    Do you wish you could increase your clients and customers? We have helped a lot of businesses thrive in…
    17 January 2018
  • Suki
    Re: Anger in the Classroom
    Hi This site is very useful. I work across schools based in Wolverhampton. Do you deliver staff training for primary schools?
    8 December 2017
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the AngerManagementExpert website. Please read our Disclaimer.