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An Anger Management Worksheet

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 7 Feb 2018 | comments*Discuss
Feelings Emotions Mood Identify Symptoms

A Worksheet can help you focus on a specific problem in a more direct way that also enables you to identify the root cause and ways of changing a particular issue. The questions asked will help you understand what triggers your emotions.

Step One

Being able to identify your anger moods will help you acknowledge how your feelings change from positive to negative, and why they do so. At the same time as a behavioural change takes place you may also experience a physical symptom of some sort. Psychological symptoms may also be present so it is useful to understand how all these changes affect you.

Do you express any of the following emotions when you feel angry?

  • Worthlessness
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Revengefulness
  • Resentment
  • Paranoia
  • Hostility

You may also feel bitter, destructive, rebellious or numb, or a number of other volatile moods. Identifying which moods and symptoms flare up each time you become angry will help you understand why they become so strong and affect your thinking and behaviour.

Make a list of the moods and symptoms you experience each time you become angry or emotionally upset. Look at this list in a detached way – as if the emotions have been experienced by someone else – and identify how each emotion individually makes you feel when you think about it. Why does a particular emotion make you feel anxious or paranoid or depressed? Work through the list in your own time and repeat until you have a clearer understanding of your feelings.

Step Two

Thinking about what causes your anger, identify the people, situation, location etc. What is it that fires your anger most effectively? Identifying the cause of your anger will enable you to examine the effect your feelings have on you, as well as other people around you.

Look at the way your anger manifests. Do you lash out, throw objects, verbally attack or bottle the emotion inside? Identify how your feelings of anger express your frustration and then look at who this is mostly aimed at, and why.

  • Your partner or spouse
  • Your children
  • Other family members
  • Your boss
  • Work Colleagues
  • Men in general
  • Women in general
  • God
  • The frustrations of Life
  • Other things that are not as clearly defined

Step Three

Now that you have acknowledged how your anger manifests, who it is mostly aimed at and why, you will be able to find the most effective way of managing your outbursts. What you need to do next is work out if your anger is justified, is an over-reaction or if you are simply letting the situation get out of hand.

You may benefit form talking to a third party, to gain another perspective on the way you deal with anger. You can also look at constructive ways of directing your anger – such as enjoying physical activity.

Keeping a check on how your emotions affect your mood, throughout the day and the activities you are involved in, will also enable you to find a more acceptable way of managing your anger.

Working through this list, every time your anger threatens to boil over, will help you stay focused on achieving a positive solution and outcome.

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@Jenn - you could also look at this from a different angle, as a form of control and bullying. I'd have second thoughts about committing to someone who put such pressure on me, as it is unfair. Marriage (as you say) doesn't mean he will trust you more, he might actually decide to trust you less. There is something called a self-fulfilling prophecy where a person brings about the thing they most fear through the level of distrust they have. It might be why his ex's have backed off. No one should be held a prisoner in love and it sounds as though you might be just that, if you don't try to work through it. I'd be telling your boyfriend that until that trust is there, then lack of trust is not the right reasons to commit to marriage, in fact they are the worst reasons. Carry on reassuring him, but don't be a prisoner. I was with someone the same years ago and I had to end it because I knew my life would have been hell. I couldn't live when having to walk on eggshells all the time. Also, as the relationship progressed, he actually became worse not better. So, all I can say is be on your guard.
JoJo - 8-Feb-18 @ 2:56 PM
I need advice for my boyfriend and I. We are very serious (talking about marriage), but he has MAJOR trust issues from his past relationships. I do nothing suspicious, yet he still suspects me of cheating over the smallest things. Ive told him how this makes me feel and that he needs to see me for me, not as he sees his exes who were responsible for hurting him. He says hes trying to trust, but will never fully trust me until were married. To that, I say trust is a choice and a result of love. Its not a feeling produced when someone makes the ultimate act of commitment, so even when were married, he wont trust me, until HE CHOOSES to. As a response to his mistrust and doubt, I eventually become irate at how he pesters me with suspicious questions. How can I help him trust me and, in the mean time, control my temper? Right now, all I know to do is reinforce his ego with sincere encouragement, because I believe its an issue that stems from insecurity and not purely mistrust. When we are not fighting, we are soo happy together. I just wish we could stay that way...
Jenn - 7-Feb-18 @ 11:31 PM
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